The Tea Kettle: It’s Better For You to Process Your Grief

Snapshot:  This blog uses the widely accepted basic laws of physics as the foundation for explaining why processing our grief, and our emotions in general, is necessary for our health.  Using the analogy of a tea kettle, we learn that if we don't process our emotions and grief, like a tea kettle, we may explode,...

Men Are Just As Emotional As Women.

SNAPSHOT: After all, human is human.  It's where, when, and how you're raised and socialized that determines your emotional expressiveness. FULL VIEW: I heard recently, and forgive me, I can’t remember where, that it is possible that men are actually more emotional than women.  The person said, ‘look at young children and compare the girls to the...

Anger is Your Friend

If you’re feeling angry, don’t judge yourself. Thank the anger for alerting you that something’s not right. Then, conduct the HALTS test – are there any vulnerability factors that are making you feel differently than you normally would? If so, make a plan to resolve those factors and tend to yourself. Finally, ask yourself, what is the anger trying to tell you about the situation? Do you feel a loss of power or a loss of control? Then problem-solve: how can you assert power or control over the situation now or in the future? How do you express your boundaries? Rehearse your requests and potential conversations, and the anger will begin to fade.

Forgiveness

Our popular culture has taught us an incorrect definition of forgiveness. It is not about condonation or approval of past behavior. It’s all about the victim releasing him or herself from the prison of the aftermath of the past and advancing to a higher level of humanity.

Anger at Sudden Loss – My Dear Friend, Craig, Part 4

When someone suddenly dies, there is no time to prepare for their departure from this world. They were in the middle of things – of getting married, of fighting, of raising a child, of starting a business. Those left behind are not only left with the shock of the sudden death, they are also left with the sudden deaths of the ideas and dreams with this person. This makes the aftermath of the sudden loss unusually complex. I recommend seeking a therapist to explore the shock, as well as validating any feelings by tending to them as soon as they arrive. Do not swallow your feelings.